This is something I have grappled with forever. Since I was a young girl, I have loved creating beautiful things but have soooooo struggled with calling myself an “artist”.
I went to college for art. 4 years of drawing nudes, illustrating, designing pages that make you wanna buy a product you don’t really need. Does that make me an artist? Being professionally trained? No.
After college, I pursued a very black and white computer career. My creativity was squelched as it was considered “too messy” by my partner. I worked hard at “coloring in the lines”. In later years, I entered different art pieces, feather sculptures, snow sculptures, pastel drawing etc into contests. Many I won! Does THAT make me an artist? No.
I’ve sold some of my work. Does THAT make me an artist? No.
Am I a “crafty” person or am I an “artist”? Is there a difference? What is the difference?
Am I good enough to be an artist? Well, why in the fuck am I even comparing myself to others? I am an individual! Unique and not like the others. I pride myself on that!
You don’t have to like what I create to make me an artist. In fact, if you hate what I created and it makes you think, I feel that I have done my job as an artist. Did you learn something?
This has always been an internal struggle for me personally. The only criteria to be an artist is… ME! My own mind. My belief in myself. I AM good enough.
I am an artist. I think deeper than many other people. There are many people that think much deeper than myself.
From now on, I am going to work on showing you what is going on in my mind when I am creating something. Some of my thoughts are accidental, some are very deliberate and guided. Sometimes I let go, and sometimes I control it. Sometimes I drink whiskey in the middle of the day to calm my brain. So what? Don’t like it? Isn’t socially acceptable? WHaaa, too bad. Sometimes I walk around buck ass naked to free myself of boundaries…. sorry for your eyes if you catch me. Sometimes I stare at something for a looooong time, studying, thinking, imagining. Sometimes I am reckless and I want to get on my motorcycle and just ride, when I should be working. I no longer “color in the lines”.
Being an artist is my full time job but you will never see me working 8:00-5:00. I work every day. Sometimes I create art for the masses, sometimes I create art for the few. Sometimes I have a vision, sometimes I let it flow.